Haute Confusion

                Time to step back into the world of Slasher flicks with this review. I mean, I called this thing Slasher Studies after all. This also shall mark my first international movie review, as the film in question is French in origin. This shall also be the first twist-movie that I’ll be looking at…and with that comes more complications on reviewing, but also many more areas to comment and complain about. The film is Haute Tension (or “High Tension” if you are American, or “Switchblade Romance” if you’re British), a 2003 release (2004 stateside) and it is owned by EuropaCorp and Lions Gate. This film was released in two versions; an edited, ‘R’ rated, dubbed version, and the original, NC-17 French language version. This blog is looking at the French subtitled version of the film.

Summary

                We begin by watching a woman in a hospital gown muttering to herself that “I won’t let anyone come between us anymore”, her back is revealed to be scarred from injuries. We quickly cut away to the same woman running injured through the woods. She makes it to a road just in time for a car to almost hit her. She runs up to it and screams for help. We cut away again and the same woman is waking up in a car, revealing everything else to be a dream.

Her name is Marie, she and her friend Alex are on break from college and have decided to spend time studying at Alex’s parents house in the country. Alex is portrayed as a party girl (or slut if you believe Marie) while Marie is more defensive and untrusting towards men. Alex doesn’t trust single guys (they must be single for a reason!) and prefers to go for men who are already taken. They have been close friends for a long time and Marie is finally going to meet Alex’s parents. It is vaguely hinted that Alex and her family are not originally from France and that Alex and her family don’t speak very good French. As I speak no French, I’ll have to take her word for it, but they all seem rather fluent to me. Marie describes her dream to her friend, mentioning that she was being stalked by someone, namely herself. Alex ends the conversation quickly and they begin singing along to the radio.

Wait...Justin Beiber is in this movie?

You got a purdy mouth.

We briefly get a look at Alex’s mother (I don’t think she gets a name) and her younger brother Tom. Tom runs around dressed as a cowboy with his dog Hendrix. They are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Alex. However, nearby a sinister truck is lying in wait. The driver is biding his time by…well…by getting a blowjob from a severed head. Our killer, ladies and gentlemen. He does his thing then drives off. To where? I don’t know, but we all know he is coming back soon. Darkness falls before our heroes arrive on the ol’ family farm. Marie is introduced to Daniel (the father), Mama (the mother), and Tom (a cowboy). She gets a tour of the house and is shown to her room in the attic. A nice family meal is had, good times all around.  After everyone says goodnight, Marie goes outside for a smoke while Alex takes a shower.

I have been waiting for the right moment to bring this up, but now seems to be the best. The evidence of Marie being a lesbian can no longer be denied. The haircut, her not trusting men at all, she was quoted as being “over protective” of Alex, she was awkward at meeting the parents…all inconclusive, yes. But now, while she finishes her cigarette, she watches her friend shower through a window. I would even let that slide…save for the fact that her next course of action. This review, I admit, has a few things that are awkward to write about (especially grabbing pictures while a female friend sits near me) so I’ll just come right out and say it. She goes to her room, puts on her headphones and MASTURBATES. There. It was said. While she is so occupied, the truck from before begins its approach of the house. She…finishes up just as the killer exits the car and…you know? I’m not done talking about her masturbating yet. What the hell kinda song was she listening to? Well it is “Runaway Girl” by U Roy, now, I can’t find lyrics anywhere so I’ll just link the song. Why this song?!  With lyrics like “You’re just another girl…you’re very nice but not that smart” and so on, why would you masturbate to that? Please don’t answer that.

Ahem. Anyway, the killer arrives just as she finishes. She goes to the window as the doorbell rings. The father Danny-boy (wait, that was in Leprechaun, sorry), awakens and goes to see who is at the door.  Marie watches him be attack from the window. From her vantage point, it is hard to see what weapon the killer is wielding. Whatever it was, Daniel was slashed across the face with it. He tries crawling up the stairs while the killer lets himself in and takes a moment to off the family dog. Marie listens intently to the commotion, but doesn’t seem to know what to do yet. The killer knows what he is doing, however. He lodges Daniel’s head in the stair railing then uses a bookcase to decapitate him. Yep. You read that right. Decapitation via bookcase. I give it creativity points. The mother, hearing noises comes downstairs. She doesn’t immediately freak out over the blood-covered stairs or headless corpse, but when she sees the razor in the killer’s hand she freaks out. Also that was the weapon in question. A tiny razor. You know what the say about big men with tiny knives, right?

Not over-compensating...

The mother is heard screaming and Marie figures out the best course of action: Hide like a bitch. Okay, she tries to call for help first, but fails. She does a remarkable job of hiding, I must say. She re-packs her bag, makes her bed, and dries the water out of the sink. Seriously, who would think to check if the sink was wet? Anyway the Killer enters Marie’s room and looks around. He searches around for a while (taking a moment to check the God-damn sink, finding a drop in the faucet while he is at it), while Marie cowers under the bed. He finally goes downstairs to harass Alex (who made the poor life choice of sleeping with ear plugs). It isn’t expressly shown, but I believe a rape is implied. Okay…we have a rape, a shower scene, masturbation, and a severed head blowjob (all within the first half hour of the movie, nonetheless). What the fuck, France?

Marie, upon hearing her friend’s struggles wastes no time in…wasting time. She tries to find a phone connection in her room but fails, then she runs around searching for another phone. She winds up in the master bedroom where she finds a phone, but no receiver. She searches until she hears someone approach. She hides in the closet, but it isn’t the killer who enters. The mother (slashed a bit, but still alive) crawls into the room and tries to use the phone to call for help. Before she can dial, the killer comes in and slits her throat, then takes the time to cut off her left hand with his tiny knife. Why take the hand? Beats me. How was that little thing able to get through bone? Good question. The killer goes off and Marie exits the closet in time to hear the mother’s final words “why me?”

After the coast is clear, Marie runs to Alex’s room to find her gagged and chained to the bed. She struggles to free her for a while but to no avail. Meanwhile, the cowboy Tom has run outside the house, presumably to bring the cavalry. However, the Killer hears him and walks after him with a rifle. Yes, they actually kill off the little kid cowboy. Marie leaves Alex after promising to return, and goes off to find a phone. She succeeds!...but the phone line is obviously cut. The killer goes to Alex’s room and carries Alex off to his truck. He loads her in back then goes to have one last look around. Marie arms herself with a kitchen knife and hides in the back of the truck to ambush the killer, but instead the killer decides to drive off, not realizing Marie is hiding in back. Marie tries once more to free Alex, but to no avail. Alex is to traumatized  to be of any help. 

Like a movie star!

The killer nonchalantly pulls into a gas station to fill his tank, not seeming concerned that someone may find his hostage. While he gases up, Marie gives her knife to Alex then sneaks into the gas station. The clerk (name of Jimmy) seems concerned and confused when she runs in and hides, but he keeps quiet when the Killer enters. They talk for a while, revealing that the killer and Jimmy know each other (if the killer’s clothes are any indication, he works there). They talk of women, and the killer tries on some nifty shades, before asking for some booze. He goes to get it but Jimmy grows nervous by the killer’s behavior…and the blood on his hands doesn’t help. The clerk turns his back to get the killer the alcohol he requests then takes an axe to the chest. The killer had grown suspicious, but still hasn’t seen Marie. He takes his time making the shop look closed and checking to see if anyone else is there, then he drives off leaving Marie behind. Marie calls the police, but is unable to give them any information since she doesn’t know the area. She rage-quits the phone and steals Jimmy’s car to follow the killer. She also spares a second to grab the gun that Jimmy had under the counter.

She follows the truck for a while, then pretends to pass by before turning off her headlights and following him. She is pretty good at the whole stealth thing, but the killer is once more one step ahead of her. She loses sight of the truck (that can happen with your lights off) until it turns its headlights back on. It somehow got behind her! She readies the gun, but the killer shows her that he has all the bullets. Damn. This guy thinks of everything. He rams her car, flipping it into a ditch. She staggers away from the wreckage, binds her wounds, then hides after seeing that the killer is searching for her with a flashlight. She takes time to arm herself with an ugly stick…by ugly stick, I mean a post covered in barbed wire. She tries to get the drop on him by circling around to behind his flashlight, but he is still a few moves ahead of her. He had rigged his flashlight to a rope so it swung around, making it look like he was searching over there. He gets behind her and tries to suffocate her with a plastic tarp. He gets her to the ground and gloats for a bit, but she finds a convenient (and…yellow?) rock to bash him over the head with. She then goes to town on his face with the ugly stick. She finishes him off by smothering him in the same plastic tarp-thing The killer dead, she goes back to the truck to save Alex.

Batter Up!

Twist time! Some cops notice the gas station that has been shut down. Upon investigating and finding the dead body of poor Jimmy. They review the security camera tapes and witness the killer axe the clerk…but it was Marie holding the axe! Meanwhile a happy Marie frees Alex from the chains, only to have Alex pull the knife Marie had left her out. Alex seems a little less than thrilled to see Marie, while Marie is confused. The killer is dead, so why is Alex still afraid? We see a montage of Marie killing the family instead of the Killer before Alex stabs Marie in the stomach. The Killer never existed, he was a figment of Marie’s mind that allowed her to act out her darker desires. Her desires that included Alex. Ahem. Lesbians. Marie reverts to her ‘Killer’ persona and gets a concrete saw from the truck. A chase scene that mirrors the first scenes of the movie plays out, Marie/Killer chasing Alex.  Marie begs her to come back, that she would take care of her, before reverting to the killer again. Alex reaches the road in time for a car to almost hit her. She screams for the driver to help her (same guy from the dream earlier. Maybe Marie is psychic too?) before getting into the passenger side. The car stalls allowing Killer/Marie to catch up and shove the saw through the windshield. Driver gets mutilated and Alex gets so covered in gore that she appears to have a Jersey Shore tan. Alex escapes through the windshield using a crowbar to make the hole bigger but some glass cut her ankle so she can only crawl away. The killer demands to know if Alex loves her while raising the saw. Alex promises that she does and the killer reverts to Marie who lovingly kisses Alex. Alex returns the affection by impaling Marie with the crowbar. We end on scenes of Marie where we came in, her in a hospital gown, chanting  “I won’t let anyone come between us anymore”. Alex looks on through one-way glass, before Marie reaches once more for her. And that concludes our love story.

Re-Summary

                                Now that we know the twist I thought we should re-examine several scenes to see if it all adds up. I’ll say this right now: No it does not. Away we go!

                Opening scenes of Marie’s dream:

Alright. No real problems here. We should have gotten the tip of “I was stalking myself” but it was very subtle. The only question I have is how Marie knew what the guy at the end would look like.

                Severed head blowjob scene:

The scenes between the dream and this one bear no issues. But this scene, while going far in terms of setting the mood, doesn’t really fit. If Marie is just arriving to this area (she expressed knowing nothing of this area to Alex in the car) who killed the head? Was there even a real victim? Was this another dream? The only way this really fits is to assume it was another random dream event  since the head kinda looks like Alex.

                The Killer’s arrival:

Marie finished touching herself and the killer arrives. It isn’t hard to assume Marie did her thing, than went outside to become the killer, or maybe when she was outside earlier never actually came back inside, but the real issue is something else entirely. Where did the truck come from? I don’t think it fit in the trunk of Alex’s car. The truck is the leading source of plot holes for this movie. I am forced to assume she left the farm and found a beat up truck somewhere nearby and stole it. Also we now might think Marie is a little daft for playing Hide and Seek with herself.

                Drivin’ down the road:

Not too bad of a hole here, but still worth mentioning. Marie and Alex are locked in the back of the truck so who is driving the truck? Alex is reacting to Marie’s presence so she had to be there for part of it at least, not to mention that this is when Alex got the knife.

                Gas Station:

Jimmy watches Marie enter and hide and reacts to her pleas to pretend she is not there. The killer then enters and talks to Jimmy. Why was Jimmy reacting to two people? Also how did Killer/Marie know Jimmy’s name? I suppose he did have a nametag but Jimmy acted like he knew Killer/Marie. It is possible the whole conversation was in Marie’s mind I suppose. When Killer drives off leaving Marie, there isn’t much in terms of plot holes. The 911 call never really happened (which is why no police cars got there until much later) but stealing Jimmy’s car brings us to…

                Car Chase:

Okay. One might assume that the whole chase never happened…but wait! If Marie was never in that car accident, where did some of her wounds come from? They were still there at the end. All I can think is that in blind insanity she stole the car, crashed it herself, then went off to fight her imaginary alter-ego.

                Overall:

There are many ways to guess the actual events but I’m pretty sure of a few things. Marie and Alex were friends. The way they react to each other tends to pull my belief that Marie just showed up and tried to kidnap Alex. Most of the events that don’t add up are probably bits that Marie’s mind inveted…but where in the nine Hells did she find that damn truck?!

Chop Shop

Kill 1: Hendrix

Yup. Not counting the imaginary severed head-girl, the dog died first. He was slashed by the killer’s razor just off camera. The dog was handled a lot nicer than most of the human victims, so there isn’t much to report on.

                Kill 2: Daniel Soral (they say the last name only once in the movie)

After investigating the doorbell late a night he is confronted by Marie/Killer who slashes him across the face with her razor. He tries in vain to climb the stairs before Marie/Killer steps on his head, forcing it between the bars of the stair’s railing. She then lines up a nearby bookcase and attains ramming speed, separating his head from his body in a rather bloody fashion. Very creative, I liked how this kill was done.

                Kill 3: Mama Soral

After investigating the noises downstairs Mama is slashed across the chest by the same razor. The Killer leaves her alive and walks away to go a’ rapin’. I figure the mother must have played dead, thus allowing her to crawl her way to the phone. She tries to hide in the closet but the killer catches her from behind and slits her throat. Killer than labors for a while in severing the mother’s left hand for some reason. He doesn’t take it with him, it is still lying there. There was no reason for this. Looking back the mother’s last words to Marie make a bit more sense however.

                Kill 4: Cowboy Tom

After hearing his family die, the littlest cowboy of them all runs out and hides in the corn field only to be discovered and shot at close range with a rifle. I give the movie props for actually going so far as to kill a kid under 10 years old, very few movies are this ballsy. They do handle it rather tactfully for such a brutal murder though. I will not that this kill was one of the scene taken out of the American ‘R’ version.

                Kill 5: Jimmy

After some dialogue that may or may not have happened, Jimmy was getting some alcohol out of the cooler. He turns around and Marie runs up and axes him viciously in the chest. Nothing to right home about, but the sound effects are great.

                Kill 6: Unnamed guy on the road.

This kill takes the ‘bloodiest kill in the movie’ award. While trying to help a damsel in distress he meets up with a concrete saw that tears his chest and face apart. Utterly brutal, but not to gory to be unbelievable.

                Kill X: The Killer

Marie killed the killer in her mind, so I’ll comment on it. After he has her pinned she clubs his head with a rock then beats him in the face several times with her Ugly Stick. When he still refuses to die she smothers him with a plastic tarp. The way the Ugly Stick kept sticking into his face was disgusting and amazing all at once. Also the damage his face sustained was well done. This was probably the best kill, despite not actually happening.

Overall Breakdown

Total Kills: 5 + 1 imaginary

Kills by Marie/Killer: All 6 (3 family members, 1 gas station attendant, 1 random passerby, 1 dog, and 1 imaginary killer) 3 by razor, 1 by axe, 1 by sawblade, 1 smothering.

Conclusion

                While this movie makes little sense at times, it is quite an entertaining gore-fest. The plot twist was hard to see coming and the kills were creative and brutal. I do recommend this movie, but you have to be a little forgiving at times.  I admit that I haven’t seen many French horror films, but I did enjoy this one. Yay concrete saw.

She just wants a hug!